Parenting

This might be somewhat of a rant post. I'll try not to let it get too intense.

Babies cry for a reason. If you've "tried everything" then your baby wouldn't be crying. If you've tried everything, then start over. Try everything again. Unfortunately, because a baby can't tell you what's wrong, you have to figure it out yourself. Yes, this results in lack of sleep. Yes, this results in frustration. Yes, at times, this will make you angry. That's the thing about being a parent though; you can never quit. You can never give up because you are tired, or frustrated, or angry. You can take a time out, but you can never, ever quit. That baby needs you, and if you're too tired, it's too damn bad. You have to put yourself second from the minute that baby is conceived. You have to eat right, you have to take care of yourself (or your partner), and when it is born, most of that goes out the window. Now, it's baby time. If you are not completely, 100% devoted to that baby, it is going to suffer. If your baby has to cry itself to sleep, let it be in your arms. At least you'll know you did not give up and let them be alone in their sadness.

Imagine something making you so sad that all you can do is cry uncontrollably. Most people would not want to go through that alone. Even if there's nothing the other person can do, at least they are there for you.

Me? I would never just let my baby cry; least of all because I just "don't want to deal with them." Yes, it's been so bad that I cried too. I cried because I didn't know what to do. I cried because they needed me. I cried because I couldn't hold both of them at the same time. I cried because I didn't know who to love first. I cried, then did what I could, starting from the beginning. I made them bottles and fed them at the same time if I had to, bent over from tiredness, putting something on the TV so it would keep me awake. It was not easy. I never expected it to be easy. If I expected it to be easy, I'm afraid I would have let them cry, and leaving my child alone and sad when there's something I can do, even if that thing is just being there, is the one thing I will never do.

To all those prospective parents: Please, for the sake of your future children, think about them first. If you think you want children, ask to take care of a friend's baby. Not for an hour, not for an afternoon, but for at least 24 hours -  the longer, the better. Make sure it's during a really fussy stage, and when they're relatively new. Imitate the parents as much as possible. If the mother is pumping breast milk, set aside time for that, and realize you can't do anything but pump in that time. If one of you will be alone with the baby for a time during the day, can you handle it? Can you handle a crying baby, while you're going to get a bottle ready, then realize there are none clean, and have to make formula on top of it? Chances are you'll come away from that experience with a clear idea in your mind of whether or not you're ready to be a parent. If you are - if you come away from that experience sleep-deprived, in desperate need of a shower, ready to cry, but that baby is taken care of and happy - your child will be so much happier because of it. If you aren't ready, it doesn't mean you will never be. Give it some time, and come back to it. Least of all, being a parent shouldn't be forced. If it is, everyone suffers.

I'm tired now, and babies are asleep, so I'll end there.

Goodnight dear Void.